My reason
"Our highest assurance of the goodness of Providence seems to me to rest in the flowers. All other things—our powers, our desires, our food—are all necessary for our existence in the first instance. But this rose is an extra. Its smell and its color are an embellishment of life, not a condition of it. It is only goodness which gives extras, and so I say again that we have much to hope from the flowers."
-Sherlock Holmes, “The Adventure of the Naval Treaty” by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
I am a trained scientist, a returned Peace Corps Volunteer, a loner who lived in a log cabin in New Hampshire a bunch of years. And, of course, I was a staunch atheist. Yet, in my mid-fifties, despite the direct opposition of my deep belief in science and humanism, I became a Christian. To most, my transformation might seem improbable or even impossible, but it happened.
What won me weren’t sermons or the Bible or any apologetic arguments, nor the scores of born-again evangelists asking me if I had heard the good news, nor the missionaries I met in Africa, but it was the slow, glacial like grinding of God’s constant, unrelenting, and profound grace. In His infinite wisdom, He used my background in science, my love of reading, and my love of nature to reveal His existence to me. And all it took was about 50 years.
The quote that opened this story is a good analogy for how my background led me to believe in God.
In my many adventures, nature has always inspired me. Whether it’s the ocean with its raw power and hidden depths, the quiet serenity of forests with their multitude of life forms, the vast expanse of plains, the ancient wildness of Africa where I saw its breathtaking night sky, because there was no light pollution, I still marvel at the world’s beauty. Yet, above all, I am most deeply moved by the mountains.
Mountains have always filled me with profound awe. I recall a moment at 12,000 feet in Hope Pass, Colorado, gazing at Quail Mountain, which rises to 13,000 feet just to the north of the pass. As you can see, that’s my wife capturing the scene on camera, while I captured her on mine. For a long time, we both stood there nearly paralyzed by the view, humbled and overwhelmed. These moments of natural wonder stir deep questions within me about our origin and purpose. Prompted by these questions.
Why do we have these feelings of awe and appreciation of beauty, in the case of mountains, that are so beautiful yet also dangerous? Let’s go back to Sherlock Holmes speech from the start of the story and his assertion that the beauty of the rose is an extra, something not necessary for survival. In other words, in evolutionary terms, intelligence, dexterity, and social bonds, for example, are traits that aid our survival as a human species. But where does the awe emotion or the appreciation of beauty fit in. Are they necessary, something that we possess that helps us survive? Personally, I don’t think so. Without it, I believe we’d still be where we are today. I’ve given a lot of thought to this, and I think that if it did grant a survival advantage then we would see it in other species.
Consider cockroaches. By any means, they are a spectacularly successful species, thriving in countless numbers and environments. The saying that cockroaches would endure even a nuclear apocalypse speaks to their resilience. And yet, here is one thing you will never see in nature or in any lab: A cockroach crying over the beauty of a mountain scene.
In fact, no other species experiences this feeling. And even in humans, it would be difficult, if not impossible to make the case that it is a necessity for survival. So, if we hold to the rules of survival of the fittest, what is its purpose? If fact, in the case of mountains, people driven by that sense of awe to climb them. And many die trying. The risk alone with no gain with no benefit survival seem to me to make it antithetical to survival.
In other words, it is an extra. It is my belief that God gave that feeling to us for only one reason. To remind us that He exists.
He is the light in a world of darkness, of war, disasters, cruelty and death. Through the beauty of His creation, He shows us that he does exist and that there is another better world that waits for us when this one dies.
It wasn’t scientific arguments or apologetics that ultimately brought me to God. Instead, it was as Sherlock Holmes put it, “It is only goodness which gives extras.” The beauty of the mountains, the joy of awe, and the capacity to recognize them as gifts are all part of God’s grace. These “extras” are His way of reminding us that He is, He was, and He always will be. It took a long time but that is what it took to convince me.
He revealed Himself to me through is creation. Throughout my life, I have faced many spiritual mountains—challenges that I often failed at, some with long falls that broke my bones and my spirit. Until I learned to ask for God’s help. When I did, He revealed more to me through His Word, Spirit and the other Christians He placed in my path.
I’ve come to understand that I cannot climb those mountains alone.
I love science, I love the mountains, and I love God. All three have shaped who I am today. As “Papa Stan Mountain Man,” I now share my stories, hoping they can guide others on their own spiritual climbs. Whether facing spiritual peaks or valleys, may we all find God’s grace in the journey.
psmm
